Blame it on the girls....

Or I suppose we could blame the patch.  I cannot explain why I fell asleep before 10:30 last night nor can I explain why I was awake almost every hour afterward.   Now, it's shortly after 5 am and I've already got my pot of coffee on.   This is day three of the quit and I'm not sure how I feel yet.

Generally, within a day or two, I get extremely belligerent and, well, pissy.  Although I've had an extra sarcastic moment or two, I haven't quite flipped out yet.   In fact, given some of the conversations I've had in the past few days, I actually feel that I'm handling things even better than when I was smoking.   Then again, perhaps the right button has yet to be pushed.

Now, just after I applied the patch for the first time on Monday, I remembered one of the side effects that I've always experienced.  Strange, crazy, wicked dreams.  True to form, they're back.   While only half-asleep with the World Series of Poker on TV around 4 this morning, I woke up and remembered the extremely vivid dream that I was in the middle of....and it's weird.

I was outside in the middle of Manhattan during an outdoor WSOP event.  The main table was being set in the Times Square pedestrian plaza and six of us were getting ready to sit down and begin the main event.  As I was talking to one of my competitors, I decided to head around the block to get something to drink and I asked him if he wanted anything.  He asked me to stop at Jamba Juice.  He requested a drink called something to the effect of "Leaves of The Tree" but I'm fairly sure that's not actually a drink considering I've never been to Jamba Juice.

Uncharacteristic of Manhattan, this particular Jamba Juice was set up like a boardwalk restaurant or a Stewarts.   It was basically just the juice bar with seats, an open sidewalk, and then seating on the streets edge.  I read down the menu intently to determine what I, myself, would like to drink.  After about 10 minutes of menu reading in a very empty sidewalk juice bar, I had finally decided.  Apple Juice.  As I headed toward the server at the opposite end of the bar, 20-30 teenagers immediately rushed to the juice bar and all got in front of me.   Then....I woke up.

I think it's time to start setting the sleep timer on my TV.

- Dave

I never claimed I was a genius.

Simple misunderstandings can have an extreme impact on one's day.   Today was that day for me.   I misunderstood the meaning of the phrase "quit day."  I had assumed that the defininition of "quit day" was the day that you had your last cigarette, which I had determined to be today.   A friend informed me earlier today that a quit day is actually your first day that you don't have a cigarette.

So, here I am feeling like a fool and still smoking...yet I am still determined.  Tonight will be my last cigarette.  As the day approaches, I certainly do NOT feel that it's the correct time, but I'm simply looking for excuses to quit quitting.  Stressors increase and so does the desire for a smoke in times such as this, but I shall overcome.

Now, I've got at least 3 days of irritability to look forward to, so I intend to spend a little more time on this blog to keep my mind off my addiction.   Within the next day or two I intend to answer the question that I've been asked the most since I made my announcement.  "Why?"   Most of my friends and family have found one way or another to show their support, but almost everyone asks me why I've chosen to quit and why now.   Answers will follow.

To all a good night.

- Dave

D-Day Minus 3

"Remember, if you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast."  - Woody Allen


After at least 17 years of smoking and, probably, yearly attempts to quit, I'm making a final, public attempt to kick the habit.  This blog is also my attempt to involve my friends and family in an effort to keep me on the path to a smoke-free life.  Surprisingly, a man, such as myself, with an inability to ever shut his mouth has never really had the desire to blog however, now, it has become a necessity.   I obviously can not trust myself to complete this task.


Anywho....I intend to update my blog each day as I lead up to my "quit date" and then each day as I go through the process of becoming nicotine free.  The purpose of my blog is not to inspire, nor to preach or teach.   I have one very extremely selfish reason; I can't do this by myself.   I have tried, time after time, and have failed miserably.  In the past ten years, I haven't been able to make it past nine weeks.  After those nine weeks, I celebrated my amazing will-power by rewarding myself with a cigarette.  Talk about your epic fails.


My announcement today is that my offical quit date will be this coming Sunday, February 28, 2010.  I intend to use a nicotine patch as my aid, as it was the most successful aid that I have ever tried.   I've attempted the gum, the lozenge, the patch, hypnosis, and everything aside from acupuncture or prescription medication.   I'm convinced that my addiction is psycological and I refuse to let an actual physician weigh in on my method of cessation.


Well, I don't imagine that each of my posts will be this long, however, I do intend to express the way I feel each day, whether it be directly related to my quitting, or just general feelings that I'm having.   This, as many know, has never been my strong suit....so it's about time to give it a shot.


I hope that my friends and family will help and support me on this mission.  Follow along and feel free to comment whenever you like.  Thanks!


- Dave